Y/N

I used you Y/N

you are just a pawn to him

you were an experimental guinea pig to them.

Did I ever say ' I love you'?

Did I said I love you and fucked you on my bed?

I fucked you as a casual fuck .

Piercing. Lacerating. Slicing. His words were injecting its sharp wedges into my heart ceaselessly. I want to unhear them. Yet. It drilled inside my head alike nails being shot.

I know Roy was up to something before I was abducted for gambling my body to Enzo. Sick bastard always take any chance to touch me without noticing anyone.

When Jungkook made his statement that he did everything to divert me away on his way to capture the ' criminals' , one wedge of my heart inclined that he did it to eradicate drug smuggling and skin trading while the other wedge of my heart inclined he did it to save me. What if he did it to save me and concealed something from me?

No. That cant be. He let out the word that he used me and my body for his own fucking pleasure. He said it by himself. What if he is equivocating? No. He said he did to save other 23 girls. And i was just a bait. I was just a worm on his peril path. 

What if he said is truth? After all, he is a spy. He is a spy working for National intelligence agency. They work for the nation. They dedicate and endanger their life to protect their nation.They usually dont have a family or they would never tell they are a spy for the agent to their wife or spouse. Yet. He revealed it to me. That means..He didnt considerate me as his spouse or a wife. Yes. Thats why. Thats why he didnt marry me in a legal papers. Yes. And he didnt give me the wedding ring back to me. We didnt have a proper wedding. My instincts was accurate to the point that , the night he fucked me worser than a cannibal was the last night with him.

My voice pierced my head commencing with the question, why the hell did he heal me after I was being raped by Roy. He could have ditched me into an asylum and had me tied up in chains with other unstable people. I would have lived accompanying my traumas and dejection. No good father, No mother. No family. Just a lost orphan.

Mother? He mentioned she went missing after Paxson attacked her. Is she still alive? or .. Or dead? If she is alive, does she misses me every day? Or did Jungkook lied about it too? About her, went missing years ago. If she went missing, why did she leave me all alone with this monsters? With these cocksuckers who doesnt even have a single trace of mankind. Why did she let me go through hell? She could have took me with her. To die or to live. I wouldn't have enfolded into Jungkook's ditching game and plays.

Wait. Why did Jungkook kill Roy ? While he can drag him to prison. Why did he lie about him being missing ? Why did he lie about the 21 men going missing while he was the one who slaughtered their fleshes to death?Why did he lie about the night he kidnapped me to my mansion? Why didnt he mention that he scattered the fresh eyeballs on the floor of Paxson's conference room?

The numerous thoughts of calibrating why he did 'this' and why he did 'that' weighed down to my two hemispheres of my brain that it would squeeze out of my head. I inclined the side of my head to the glass window of the car while my pupils were just lingering in the central position  without viewing the things moving outside as my head was held up in the perplexsion. Hence it couldn't activate my optic nerves to view the things outside.

" Y/N!" Jimin's voice startled me out  diminishing my inner perplexed voice.

" We are here. " He hooked his neck gesturing me to step out of the car. 

I stayed at NIA premises for long hours drenching my cheeks into tears. My eye lids weighed down and swollen into plums. I was embracing myself crawling into a huge sphere. His words lingered as shadows and clouded around  choking me to breathe.

The minute Jungkook said' he used me' , I headed out of the room as his every word that was revealing the truth was almost slashing me alike a scythe.

I ran out randomly and shoved myself when my eyes captured the board named restroom. Jimin followed me to the restroom and tried to break open.  He hit the door numerous times yet those knocks felt like muffled ones concealed by my sobs and angry crys. I picked up one of the toiletries and smashed it on the mirror. Jimin didnt wait a second before he rushed inside and stopped me in lacerating my veins at my hand.

I don't know how long I stayed there. Jungkook didn't even peek out his head towards me to check even once.  Jimin was the only human being who brought me food and water to stuff it inside my mouth. Yet I couldn't engulf them as my heart was weighing down to my stomach occupying the dejection. I was left all alone in the room untill the darkness swallowed me. Later. Jimin came in to pick me up and drop me somewhere. May be an orphanage. I would gladly stay there sharing my pathetic stories to other human beings, starring walls , sharing food with others, maybe I could adopt a parents.

" Where are we?" I asked me softly swinging myself out of the car.

" A penthouse." He retorted and stepped out the car.

I stretched my neck upwards towards the sky to view the tall building stood firm reaching the clouds.

" Why are we at a penthouse?" I shot out a question again.

" Lets go." Ignoring my question he gestured his hand to enter the elevator. He pressed four buttons to enter the password and the elevator dinged to close the door. The door was affixed with mirror threw back my image to my eyes. I perfectly looked like a piece of shit. A contorted hair. Swollen eyes. Red nose. I stumbled my feet on the floor and clutched my hands to my black hoodie. The one he dressed me into. I sniffed the scent of hoodie through my nose only for my nostrils to get strike by his scent.

Fuck.

A few minutes later the elevator door opened disclosing a huge hallway which had several feet higher glass window affixed at the other end of the hall way. My eyes broadened.

My feet glued to the floor.

Jimin stepped outside the elevator and turned around. " Its ok. Its my penthouse. Come on."

I stepped in. I wandered my eyes around. The place was calm and filled with tranquility. The other side of the hallway had a dinning table which was close to the kitchen counter. The other end had a staircase that lead to the bedroom probably.

I checked around and witnessed the room was painted black and grey.

Black?

" Are you sure this is your penthouse , Jimin?" I asked him intersecting my forearms against my chest.

"Yup!"

" Then why does  the wall showing off Jungkook's color?" I raised my eyebrows enough to hit my hairline.

His mouth snapped shut.

I roamed further and witnessed the wine rack stuffed with books. I sprinted and pulled one book out. ' The Powerless by Russell' I read the title of the book. I pulled another book. ' The witch .' Pulled another one. ' Him and her '

What the fuck? I took a step back and oscillated my eyes around. The books. The books were mine. The books that I used to read when I was living with Paxson in mansion. I turned few pages of the book I had in my hand to check if there is red mark at the corner of the pages that I would love to read over and over again. Yes. They are the same book from the mansion.

" Help yourself. I have stocked perishables in the refrigerator and instant. .."

" The books.."

" Oh those , I got it for you from your house. " He pointed his index finger at the racks. " Hope you enjoy reading ..."

" I never mentioned you about I like books ,Jimin." I cut him off.

" I was looking for few more documents at your house and thought..."

" Why would you bring books for a criminal's daughter to read and stay slothful over here huh?" I imparted sharp gazes at him.

" Listen Y/N. Its safe here ok. If you need anything to eat there are few perishables inside the refrigerator. " He stepped towards it ,opened its door a inch and closed it again.

My eyes caught a glimpse of red liquid filled in glass jar were stuffed at the door.

" Jungkook, isnt it?" I asked him.

" Y/N.I have to go. " He spun off my question.

" Whats going on Jimin? Tell me. Why would you bring a primary suspect of her father's crimes to a penthouse? shouldnt I been thrown at an orphanage or some other non governmental organisation?" I hurled the last sentence of my words enough to emit a sarcasm tone.

" It is not safe for you outside . You need to .."

" Why the fuck do you care about my safety? " I cut him off again. "Am I not a criminal's daughter? Shouldnt I be thrown to a prison for few days until he return or being caught? I was just a pawn right.A bait to get them. right?"

He let out a sharp sigh.

"Y/N, Jungkook cleared the statement depicting that you are also a victim. So, it was made clear to them you are not a suspect. You are.. "

" Guinea pig of their experiment right?" I swallowed down my distress concealing my tears.

" Stop it Y/N. Please. " He said softly.

" What is that motherfucker is hiding from me? " I yelled. " Why is he lying,Jimin.?"

" He is not lying. There is nothing going on. Call me if you want anything else. The phone dials only to my contact number. " He turned around making me to close shut my mouth. He didnt turn his head around as he knows i would shoot him with queries again. He stepped inside the elevator and turned around facing me. He delivered me a nod before the doors shut.

Equivocate.

If it was a skill, Jungkook is an ace in it.

I have no single trace of idea why he nibbled the fib right through his mouth. I knew something is going on. Nevertheless.When I questioned him , he flipped the question back stabbing right to my heart.

I climbed over the stairs and flung open the door to the bedroom. I took off the hoodie above my head inhaling his scent clung to the hoodie.

Fucking asshole.

I miss him. It fucking hurts. I walked towards the dressing table and looked my upper naked body image at the mirror.

Marks. His marks. The marks he gave me the best night we had. Probably the last one.

I clutched the hoodie and cried aloud , my voice uproaring across the room. I sunk my knees to the floor and curved my body into a sphere configuration. I cried for few minutes. Or may be hours. I dont know how long. My eyelids weighed down as it was swollen and red.

My eyelids closed shut involuntarily as it became drought due to the parched up tears.

I closed my eyes to drift myself into a sleep so that I could shift myself away from the brutal reality that was murdering me slowly. I crawled and stuck my body to the cold floor to drift into a sleep from which I never want to wake up.

----------

Sunflower.

please open the door baby. I love you. I love you. I want to touch you baby please. I would never hate you . I want you to mother my children.

Y/N baby please

My eye lids scrolled up in a split milli fucking second as his voice shoved inside my head.

He said it to me. He said he loves me. He said while trying to break the door when I was trying to hurt myself in the washroom. The day he took me to his five pets and fucked me on a cascade while the alligators were swirling around us.

Why did he... ? My thoughts intruded by a door creaking sound. I switched my eyes to the door and   found a silhouette standing at the door step.

I blinked my eyes few times to get a better view. And it disappeared by my next blink. It must be him. He is here . He is here. I know its him. I know its him. I ran towards the door step. Nope. No sign of him.

I rushed down the stairs and swirled around to find him. I called him out. " Jungkook, please come out. I know its you " I yelled. I oscillated around to see if his figure appears in front of me.

No.

I waited for seconds. Minutes.Hours. No. Neither his silhouette showed up nor his figure. I could hear only my breaths.In and out.

I must be going crazy. I climbed back to the stairs. I mounted over the bed and set my back to the bed. Blazing tears scrolled down my eyes. Why does he do this to me?

Wait. Why the hell am I naked? I took off only my hoodie. Where are my pants. ? I turned my head to spot if its lying somewhere on the floor. Yes. It was. How? Maybe I took off it by myself. Alright. I was on the floor, how did I end up on the bed. ? Did I crawl into the bed while I was sluggish? Probably.

I turned . I flipped . I hopped. I switched several positions to get back into sleep. I couldnt drift myself back to sleep. He was living inside my head. I was gazing at the window of the bedroom until the sun submerged into the sky turning the sky inti dark and hollow black.

I sat up on the bed and hastened my steps towards the washroom to wash myself.

After stepping out of the shower I opened the closet only to find out clothes of mine.The clothes Jungkook bought for me when we were living as husband and wife at our home. His home.

It was him again. He put them in here. He is hiding something that he doesn't want me to find out.

The only thing I did was fall in love with him.He didn't even care to give me a reply when I said I love him.He just stepped into a fucking phone call when I was awaiting for him to say he loves me.

I am going to find out what he is trying to hide. I am not going to stick my fucking ass over here in this penthouse. I am getting out of here.

I need a plan.

Initially, I need to find out the password to get the out of here.  Only Jimin knows that. How am I supposed to trace a password to the door. Well I am not upskilled in hacking or its totally absurd to stand behind his back and watch him type the password.

I scrolled up my lower lips in between my inscisors for a minute. I pulled off the drawer at the dressing table to find anything that could help me get out of here. Really Y/N? What are you going to find in a drawer?

Oh. What is this? I curled my fingers at the handle of the hair brush that had few white and black hair entangled over its bristles. I pinched one strand of the hair and pulled it gently. A woman's hair. This is definitely not mine. My hair didnt had its meet up with the hair brush for days. Whose hair this is ? May be this Jimin's place and is its his girlfriend? Or any women he brings at night? Dumbass Y/N. It's an old woman's hair. Maybe it's Jimin's mother.

I sighed and immersed myself to deep thoughts. Some trace of my instinct screamed its Jungkook's place. Because. This place is clearly screeching Jungkook's scent and color.

The bewildering perception was ditching deep down my head. Its way down to my head ceased when my eyes caught a blink of a nail polish. Black colored nail polish . Perfect.

I snatched it from the drawer and curled it into my fist. I rushed down to through the stairs and reached to the door. I twisted the lid of the nail paint container and immersed the soft brush inside the nail paint to collect them into the brush. I placed the tip of the brush gently over every number on the number pad for the passkey thats also black colored one. When Jimin comes in here and tries to leave he would definitely press the password over the numbers that would leave his finger tip imprints on the nail paint over the numbers he pressed which will make me easily to find and trace out the password. Perfect. Again.

I switched back my steps to the refrigerator and picked up one of the strawberry jam. I crashed it on the floor , it cracked into bits and pieces. I took one sharp wedge of the glass piece. I didnt think for a second before slicing it to my forearm into an elongated cut. I screamed. I collapsed.

Blood dribbled down my arms , I bent my arm upward and rushed towards the phone. I pressed one dial number accidentally and it conveyed directly to a dialer tone.

" Y/N, What is it?" Jimin asked after picking up the phone by single ring.

" I . I.. have cut my hand, Jimin. It was accident. Can you please come and help me. I dont find any first aid box for a self medical assistance. " I paused and waited for his reply.

" What? You ok now, do you want me to send paramedics?" He panicked.

" No. Its just a small cut. Could you...could you please come over please!" I asked him softly brimming my words with solicitation.

" will be there in few minutes. " He hung up.

I walked towards the couch and swung my body over it after launching the phone across the couch.

I gazed at the clock watching the minute hand moving inch by inch. The minute needle leaped towards ten minutes time skip.

The elevator door opened revealing only Jimin with a first aid box seated on his two palms. Asshole. He didnt make up here to get a glimpse if I am fine or not. Jeon asshole Jungkook.

" What happened?" He came in with broadened eyes concealing his entire face.

" My hand slipped. " I told him gesturing my finger at the broken glass jar.

He looked at the broken pieces and switched his eyes to the laceration at my arm.

" Are you sure your hand slipped Y/N?" He sat beside me and lead his palm to offer him my arm.

I nodded gently.

" Listen Y/N. Jungkook is not coming here." He dipped the cotton into the ointment and tapped over the laceration. "Once he gets the parker twins, Clark and Enzo, you can leave this place and..." He paused.

" And?" I waited for him to continue the sentence he left to hang in the air. " And? Go where? "

" We will figure it out. !"

" Yeah will figure it out. "

Yes. because I am moving my ass outta here.

He swirled the bandage around and tied it together with knots.

" I will send Freya.. I mean a doctor to get you an injection for infection. Okay?" He nodded to me to get back a nod from me.

I nodded back.

He stood up and took a look at the splattered pieces of jar on the floor.

" Its okay! Dont worry about that. I will clean up the mess." I pursed my lips into a thin line.

He huffed and walked towards the elevator. I eyeballed at his hand to move towards the passkey. He clicked the password in swift pace. The elevator opened. He stepped inside while I switched my eyes to other side not to let him know I was watching him.

He gave me another nod. The door snap shut. I hastened my steps towards the passkey and squinted my eyes to check if his finger tip was printed at the nail polish I blotted over the passkey. Yes. Fucking Yes. Got them. Its one-three- zero- six.

I am stepping out of here. I am going to find that asshole grab his collar and make him spill everything he is hiding from me. I am not going to fall into his heart wrenching words.

Maybe if I couldn't succeed in that one, I might need to disappear into thin air.

Death. Of. Mine.

Maybe death could bring us together.

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