Lolanthe Heather

⚠️Warning: disturbing scene ahead.

Sweat slings swayed from my nape to my back when his name churned inside my head.Though his face was hazy and fuzzy for now, but if my eyes capture his face again i can recall that fucking face of his and I  just want to thrash it again and again with the same iron rod i used to  crash it to his head five years ago,until his face is unrecognizable. Because i dont want to recall his face ever again in my life. All I could hark back to was the tattoo at his shoulder that had a demon face with dangerous eyes , goric sharp teeth accompanying  few fangs that was tainted wih blood colored ink.

Are you a virgin?

Yes.

Its going to hurt. A lot. And i wont do gentle, am I understood?

Tears swirled at my eyelids and swayed at my lashes as his words perforated into my thoughts.

No more details of his tattoo were latched to my head. Because his shoulder was the only thing i clung and raked my nails over while my inner layers of my flesh at my core was bleeding on his entire length as he scrapped his thick meat for the whole fucking night.  The night,I lost my virginity to the barbaric beast where I served him as a ravenous prostitute. Nope. I crawled to his bed in disguise of a prostitute.

My hands commenced to shudder as the horrific incident came to display through my eyes. My neurological disorder at my fingers skyrocketed as my eyes started to picture the horrendous and abhorence hands all over my body.

My gasps shivered and shuddered.

Jungkook, your girl is tight man.

Are you sure he did fuck you?

Jungkook,didnt you fuck her better man,she is tight.

Look at him, watching us tearing his girl apart.

Alright thats enough, dont break her leave a piece of her for me.

Hold her legs for me.

" No no..dont please." I spun around as several hands were mounting  over my torso. " Jungkook help me!" I screeched. More filthy hands curled my ankles and twitched to keep my legs placed on either side.

I plummeted down and crawled back. Hands .Hands. No face. No body. No legs. No heads. Just hands. Everywhere there were hands. Pieces of Hands were encircling me. Pieces of filthy hands accompanied with unison men's voice. Men moans. Men groans. Men growls.

" Jungkook, dont do this please." The room spun around me. The filthy hands sprouted out by creaking and spliting the wooden floor. Several hands slithered to me , as I dragged myself back. " No no. Dont dont ." I yowled.

Where are you going ,girl?

Unison voice  of several men shrieked across the room. I oscillated my head to my bed. It was not mine. It was his. His bed. Jungkook 's bed. Black silk sheets  sheathed around its king size.

Another hand emerged out of the wall and curled around my throat. " No!" I scream." Gotcha." The uncanny male voice growled behind my ears as the hand emerged out of the wall was choking me.

I wheezed. I tried to uplift my hand to uncurl the arm circling my throat. I couldn't. I gazed at my hands. My two wrists were clamped by filthy hands sprouted from the floor. Few hands were clamping my ankles to floor. I oscillated my head around, the walls were tainted in complete onyx and pitch black streaks. This is not my room. This is not my room. Why am I here? Why am I at Jungkook 's room? Why am i at the monster's room? I know its his room. Certainly. Because, my eyes were plastered to the walls of his room when he allowed the men to have me in most vicious way possible, while I was crying and screaming to them to stop and begging to him not to make them do it.

My eyes then plummeted down to the couch that was affixed at the corner of the room. The couch he seated himself when he talked to me after we had our first time intercouse. The couch he seated himself when he watched me being torn apart between the men alike a tattered puppet. 

" Please dont.." i sobbed as several hands were emerging out of the wall. I roamed my eyes again to the couch. My eyes widened. My heart palpitations ceased for a second. He was there, sitting and watching without any countenance.

" No no. Jungkook please tell them not to do this." I cried out. He was lingering there watching me. Doing nothing , but watching me with mulitple men.The hands crawled over me and groped  every part of my fleshes. The filthy nails ploughed to my night dress and ripped them apart leaving me bare and vulnerable.

" No no!! No!!" I screeched and condensed my eyelids firmer and hard, not wanting to open them again. Ever.  " Please!"

" Lola!" A voice roared beside me.

" Lola!" I compressed my eyelids tighter as the voice roared more louder this time.

" Lola!" A strong hands held my shoulder and quaked me vigourously.

'please dont!" I bellowed. " Dont!! No!!! "

" Lola!!!" The voice uproared and pierced my ears stimulating my eyes to open forcefully. I gazed my body ,my shirt and trousers were not torn. I gazed at the brawny hands affixed to my shoulder. Familiar. It was no stranger to me. The hands. I know this brawny hands with honey tanned skin. I know this hand. I gradually uplifted my head to the owner of the hands. " Lola!look at me!"

The face appeared obscure to me. " Lola! God damn it look at me." The voice wobbled. " Please,love" The brawny hands jerked my shoulders again." Look at me please "  The face came in to focus to my eyes. My eyes escorted to the black and blonde blended hair,the enlarged square spectacles, the eyebrow piercing and lip piercing that was joggling as the voice was calling out my name making the lips to move up and down.

Jason.

It was Jason.

Instantly i wandered my eyes around the room. The onyx and pitch black streaks wall disappeared. His bed disappeared. His couch disappeared. Yes. He disappeared. I oscillated my head around . Again. The hands were gone.

" Lola , look at me " he shook me again. This time. Gently and softly.

I panted. " Ja . .." i huffed and puffed. My fingers were trembling alike the knuckles would rupture and fall by any minute.

" Yes. Jason. Its Jason,love.Its Jason." He gently untethered his hands from my shoulder and took my fingers of my two hands into his two palm. The moment he clasped his hands on mine,my vision became cleansed. The hands that emerged out from the walls, roofs and floors , disappeared. It was only him. Jason.

" Hey hey. Its ok . Its just me." He softly swirled his thumb on my knuckles. His hand shook along with my trembling fingers. They quaked in loop. " Lola, love look at me..just answer my questions okay?"

I nodded with a tiny whimper.

" Identify ,five things you can see?" His stroke on my knuckles didnt cease. His hold was benign at my trembling fingers.

" Huh?" My voice swung with shivers.

" Quick,Lola. Tell me five things you see?" His question was firm. " Look around and tell me. "

My heart flushed with a tender unrecognisable sense when it struck me that he was trying to diminish my panic attack.

"Bed, fan, floor, mirror, windows."

And you, Jason. I spoke under my mind.  Without awaiting a second i answered him.

" Identify, four things you can touch?" He let go of my hands slowly, so I could touch what i could.

" Umm.. my hair, my night shirt, and...." I blew out few breaths and tapped my hands down to touch anything. My fingers came in contact with tender stems of the lavender flowers that i might have probably dropped on floor during the panic attack that strangled my soul. " And.. lavender flowers and ..." I swiftly hold his two hands with mine in frightfulness that my fingers would teeter again." And your hands " i ceased my answers.

He gazed away from my eyes to our hands. Intertwined. Because the moment my hands found his we intertwined involuntarily, while his knees were sunk to the floor as my back clamped to the wall . He fixed his knees to floor , holding me firm but not tight as if i might get dissolved into the wall.

" Alright. Three things you can hear.?"He didn't offered his regard to our intertwined hands more , as he might have pushed off the thoughts of not wanting to be touched. Yet he lingered there to flush out my panic attack.

" The whirling sound of fan, the ticking of clock. .and...." Sweats scrolled down from side of my temple to my chin. " Jaa..." I panted." I cant..hea..."

He swiftly moved his immersed knees more firmer and pressed to the floor making the creaking sound so I could identify and resolve it.

" The creaking sound of floor." I spat out. My breaths was getting better.

" Good. Two things you could smell " He softly pressed my hands into his.

" Lavender flowers and .umm..." I hesitated to spill out the next word.

" Lola, let it be silly. Just say it. " He assured me.

" Tangerine " I retorted. My breaths were getting better. However, it got way better when he let out a chuckle. As the tangerine blended with wood scent was actually ejected out from his body. He always smell like tangerine and wood.

He let out a sigh of relief.

" One thing you can taste " He curled his lips and swirled his tongue at his lip piercing to toy it with his tongue's tip.

Focus. Lola. Its to minimise your panic attack. Focus on the question not the way he toys his lip piercing with his tongue.

"One thing i can taste...." I stuttered as I couldn't focus on my taste buds of my tongue.

Watching my stammers , he pulled his hands from mine and shoved his thumb gently to my lips. I gasped softly. " What do you taste?"

His thumb contacted my taste buds and my sense declared that,his thumb had streaks of mint.

" Mint " i swallowed hard. He hauled out his thumb . My saliva served as a thread of bridge to his thumb's pad and my tongue'e tip. He pulled back his thumb more further and lead to rupture the delicate bridge of my saliva.

My breaths became stable. My  fingers ceased to teeter.

There was a cumbersome silence between us. He abruptly stood up from the floor to discard the discomfort between us.

" You should do something about your essential tremors, love" He gently offered his hand for me to hook. I swiftly hooked my hands to his. He gradually uplifted me from the floor gripping my hands tight.But, Not hurting them . I slowly sat on my bed.

My heart almost leaped out as he pointed out essential tremors, a neurological disorder at my fingers. " You know about it?"

" Yeah i could see, the way your hands shake. " He scoffed.

Another cumbersome silence passed for a split second.

" Well, i should go. He must be waiting for his mint cocktail. I came in here rushing ..." He paused " i heard you screaming. "

I nodded. " So thats why the taste of mint in your thumb" i chortled gently.

He nodded to me with a broad smile. " Let me get you glass of water." He turned his heels and marched out of my bedroom.

I sighed in relief. If it werent for him, i would have died with a panic attack.

His footsteps approached me after few seconds. He walked to me with the glass of water in his hand. " Here." I curled my fingers around the glass he held but my eyes latched to his right hand. Bizzare. The honey skin on his right hand was bizzare and it appeared alike an aged man's skin. Nope. A dough. Yet, my eyes captured his abs raking his shirt.

He switched the glass to his other hand not considering i was trying to grasp the glass of water. I placed the rim of the glass to my lips as soon as he let go of the glass from his switched hand.

I took a heavy gulp,down to my throat.

" Lola, how were the rice cakes i offered you? Did you like it? Was it delicious with the noodles for dinner?" He shot up the question out of the blue.

I choked on water. He abruptly tapped his hand to the crown of my head and then to my back. Once he made sure the water droplets bounced back to my oesophagus as i breathed normal, he removed his hands from my back.

" You okay?" His concern coated in the question was vague yet it showed off. Enough for me to sense it.

" Yeah. And the rice cakes.." i took a moment to compose my answer. Because i didnt have rice cakes in my noodles instead i had Mile's fingers in my noodles for dinner, fed by my grim reaper.

Grim reaper.

Fucking hell. What if he witnessed me sucking on Jason's thumb just because i wanted to recognize a taste? What if he slices off his fingers because i wrapped my lips on his thumb?wait. How will he even know if i did that? Last night when my teeth clutched on miles's sliced of fingers in the noodles, his voice growled through my headphones while i was listening to DC/AC.

Is he watching and listening to me all the time? I gasped mildly and shifted my eyes to the ceiling and its corners.

" Lola!" Jason snapped his fingers at an inches away from my face. I quaked slightly.

" Are you ok? "

" Yeah . Yeah. Totally." I inhaled sharply." The rice cakes , they were great." I lied through my teeth.

" Good. " He sighed . In relef probably. " Call me , if you need anything. Just knock on my door. Alright?"

I nodded. Before his feet leaped out of my room. I called him out.  " Jason."

He turned around. " Yes, lola." He answered gently. I almost melted into a puddle.

" Why did you call me, 'love'? I asked him recalling the way he called me 'love' with dismay and distress when he saw me collapsed to floor." You never do that." Negative. He does call me , love , sometimes and I precisely pretend not to give a regard to it. But this time, he called me more than ever needed.

" Lola. I called you Lola. Not " love" " he scoffed. " You might have misheard it "

Lie. A perfect Lie. But it was appealing.

" Homophones?" I smiled.

" Yeah." He tossed me a smile back. " Homophones "

I inclined my head as another smile was criss crossing my face. My eyes fell on the lavender flowers.

" Jason, the flowers."I stood up from my bed and inclined down to collect the lavender flowers slowly as its petals were wrinkled. I picked one by one gradually aggregating them in my palm.

"Lola, i should go...."his words floundered in an strange voice. Not a concern but ...

" Lola, thats enough just get up "

My eyes shot to his instantly, which was bolted to my cleavage that was in exhibition to his eyes as the neckline of my dress was pendent.

His eyes swiftly moved away and he turned around . He walked out of my room.

" Jason, wait. " I followed him not feeling a single trace of blatant by his gaze. No. Lola. You shouldn't feel that way. If Grim reaper finds it he would fuck your tits. Harder. Rougher.

I swept off my thoughts and reached him before his fingers found my door handle. "Give this to Jenguk. He will be probably waiting for the flowers." I bestowed him the wrinkled flowers. He lead his palm. I softly placed it. " Sorry, about the flowers it..."

" Lola, its not about what you give, its about love."

" Huh?" My breath caught to my throat.

" I mean the dedication you want to give something to someone." He rephrased his words.

He turned around and hauled the door open. " See you tonight " he stepped out of the door.

See you tonight? My brows furrowed by his words.

As if he heard my mind, he spun around " lola, the feast for tonight is on me " he waved me with a smile.

" Sure." I retorted and gently slammed the door.i turned around and inclined my back to the door. My head replayed the way he pulled me out of the panic attack . Smoothly. He didnt even ask me why I had the panic attack , probably he doesnt want to provoke again.

My eyes shifted to the wall with diminahed power of focussing on what my eyes was looking at.

I swept off the thought about Jason and blinked my eyes thrice only for my eyes to focus on the clock. Shit. Fuck me! I am fucking late.

" Shit shit shit.  " I marched swiftly to my couch and hauled my phone in my hand. I swiped the screen to unlock. " Eight missed calls?" I gasped and clicked on the panel of call notification. " Maeve." Damn it. I pressed the call icon to call back her.

With one ring she picked the call." Ms. Heather? Where are you! Every patients have gathered to the hall , 'the nameless 'is still in his room."

" Maeve." I warned her for calling my silent patient as ' the nameless'.

" Fine, your silent patient is still in his room, probably waiting for you." She corrected." Every patient has done with their morning regime. When are you coming?"

" Maeve, i just..."

" Ms. Heather, you know what happens when you dont show up to him we cant afford for another metallic door. " She sliced me off.

" Maeve , its just i got held up with my landlord 's son." I lied. " He was having some kind of breakdown ,i need to check on him."

" Oh my.  That little kid? Is he ok now?what about his father? " Her question dipped in concern as she knows a lot about Jenguk.

" He is good. He will be fine. i took care of things." I lied through my words without any traces of holding back on my words.

" Alright, ms. Heather, if you dont show up by next half and hours, he will thrash that metallic door "

" Yeah i am on my way, Maeve, just dont go in there if you hear any sound of him inside his cellar." I warned her. Because,last time i showed up late to his cellar, he distorted the metal bar of his cellar's gate. He fisted his hands to the metal door and curved them into an abnormal shape. Well, its diameter was 9.4 cm thick. 

I abruptly rushed to my room. I swiftly opened my closet to haul out my outfit. I walked to my bathroom in a beat. I hurled down my night dress and dipped my feet into the tub. I twisted the shower knob to run the water as a teeny weeny cascade over my naked body and spontaneously lathered my shower gel all over my body.

A few minutes later , i stepped out of the shower and dabbed the towel to dry myself. I walked to my bed and gently picked my elegant shirt with blue shade and pencil skirt with grey shade.

I hopped into it and fixed my hair to run down my shoulders. i picked my moisturizer and an alluring lip gloss to plaster them to my face during the drive to the psychiatric ward.

I tossed my phone into my bag.  I gathered my research papers I left to scatter on my desk. I gazed at the floor where i dropped my noodles and Mile's fingers. It was all gone. Did my grim reaper cleaned them all? I recalled about last night again. My eyes did capture him vaguely last night after I passed out. When i woke up i was in my night dress.Shirt and trousers.He might have changed me into it. Nope. I was naked, he dressed me into the shirt and trousers and tucked me into the duvet.

I sprinted towards my door and opened it swiftly. I took a few breaths to construct myself as I was splattered a few moments ago. I took a look at my fingers and hands, which reminded the way Jason held it to upholster my essential tremors.

I shook my head to wither off the thoughts and glanced to his door. It was closed. I turned my head away and descended down from the stairs of the porch. I walked towards the garage swiftly and hopped into my red kia porter that was perfectly parked at my garage. That might be him.

The minute i hopped into my car it smelt cigarettes and whiskey. Motherfucker. Its my grim reaper.Again. He drove this car last night to chase me into the woods,so he can have his feast of my pussy.

I revved the engine and drove swiftly to my psychiatric ward which was few miles away from my house. I grapsed my moisturizer from the bag and dabbed to my face, handling the steering wheel in my other hand.  I tossed my moisturizer to my back seat.

My phone shuddered from my bag before i grasped my lipgloss. I quaked. " Shit!" I took my phone. " Maeve. " I swiped to connect the call and switched to speaker. " Ms. Heather, are you here yet?"

" Open the door, get me the keys of his cellar."  I intensified the acceleration.

By few minutes, i reached the ward. I  hit the breaker firmly. I swiftly opened the door and junped out. " Ms. Heather " the security rushed to me. " Park the car " i tossed my car keys to his hands. He caught it in split second.

" Maeve!" I roared and sprinted my feet through the hall way. " Move!move!everyone. ! " I tapped the shoulders of the nurses wandering around waiting for me to show up,holding baton and Taser in case he chose something violence.

" Clear everyone! Clear the hallway." I commanded loud. They rushed out. " Maeve!" I called her out. " Move it.. come on! Clear!! Clear the hallway!" I ordered the nurses again and again. They ran with panics. " Where the hell is maeve? "

She came dashing to me and almost collided over me.Her short stature appeared ." Ms. Heather. Keys ,here are the keys." She shoved the keys to my hands. " Any sign of him? I mean did he break the door."

" No." She shook her head and followed behind me. " I think you should take some nurses with you "

I furrowed my brows to her." No,Maeve. He doesn't like when I walk into his cellar with men to handle him. Remember the last time i took nurses with me and you know what he did."

Maeve sighed heavy with a shudder and snap shut her pouted mouth.

By few steps we reached his cellar. " Ms Heather. Careful." She pressed her hand to my shoulder.

"Leave, he doesn't like anyone to be near him but me. " I joggled the keys to unlock the cellar door. I slowly opened the mettalic door and unlocked the gate. I took a few breaths to construct myself into a calm and relaxed self.

The cellar room was dark, since he doesnt like light I enjoined the assistants to always keep lights off from his room. Only the sun rays filtered through the caged single window affixed at the wall several feet higher from the floor.

I stepped inside. My eyes fell on him. I could barely see him in the dark but his silhouette was visible due to sun rays. He seated on the bed with his hands rested on his thighs. His hair sprung free all over his face, concealing his eyes, abundantly. They were shivering. And his little sobs were swinging around the room.

I swiftly moved to him closing the gate behind me. " Hey hey hey hey...I am here. I am here." I walked to him and stood against him. He instantly curled and threw his hands around my waist.

" Azz....az.... " He sobbed. " Its ok. I am here " I coiled my hands around his head as he rested his forehead to my chest " Azz..azu...." I tapped his head gently to upholster his psychogenic stuttering.

He embraced me firmly, muffling his sobs to my bosoms. I squirmed gently. Though it was not right but only i can handle his little tantrums.

" I am here . Right here with you." I assured him.

" Azu...azure.., i..." He stuttered to call the name he always used to call me.

" Sh sh..." I rubbed his back resting my chin to the crown of his head.

" I ....lo..." He sobbed. " Iov. .love...y.."

" Yes i understand." I tapped his back gently.

" You. ... Love you...azu..." He sniffled. " Azure.."

" Yeah i love you too.." i tapped his shoulder in loop.

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